Broken Record Breaks?

Trash on the street. Photo taken on Spadina during garbage strike

Notice a peaceful change on the block?

Besides the banging and beeping that the World Cup has brought to Blossington as of late, something peaceful this way comes.

The friendly busker or, as most neighbours call her, the obnoxiously off tune girl who sings on the top of her polluted lungs in front of the LCBO, hasn’t accosted our alleys for a few days now.

Somehow a synthetic silence blankets over the sound of cars and crack heads.

It gives a refreshing feeling in an otherwise humid climate. Fingers crossed, Blossington residents hope that this changing wind leads the lady, who relentlessly puts iconic artists to shame, on another dusty road.

And dontcha come back no more.

(Photos by DmD)

Fungus Sprouts in Dirt

One of the most amazing properties of fungi is that one day they are not there, then suddenly, the next morning, they are fully grown. Lava Video, a sex shop located at 941 Bloor Street West is the most notable addition to Blossington. Fungi need heat plus moisture to magically sprout over night. With today, May 19th, being one of the hottest days of 2010 so far, it only made sense that the nice fellow at the adjacent bulk store was able to confirm that the shop certainly did sprout over night. It wasn't there yesterday.

Since today is the first day the adult store emerged from the dirt in Blossington, we feel compelled to make the connection to a bright yellow fungus, especially Leucocoprinus birnbaumii, a.k.a. Lepiota Lutea, a.k.a. The Yellow House Plant Mushroom. Although the adult store was closed as of 11:30am today, it, as its mushroom counterpart, will likely not waste time sprouting into full effect. 

Be forewarned, the Yellow House Plant Mushroom is inedible, so if you ingest copious amounts of this stuff, you will suffer through a poisoning of sorts. Nestled between Long & McQuade and Comedy Bar, we wonder whether Lava Video will at least help lure people into visiting its dark neighbouring bar, The Piston, which took over the Concord Cafe a few months ago.

For our readers who are interested, Lava Videos promises a free membership and competitive DVD prices. Please don't try to enter if you are under 18, and think twice if you are not immune to various fungi.

(Photos by DmD)

Get with the (Amateur) Game

Last Sunday, our Toronto Maple Leafs (no, not those ones), the intercounty baseball team, had their home opener at Dominico Field in Christie Pits. People of all ages sat hillside for the first time this season to watch a relatively exciting game against the Barrie Baycats. Relatively, of course, because we're talking about baseball. Exciting because the game was filled with highlights, and some shitty-call-drama which resulted in a long break, leading several fans to yell, "Come on! Play ball!"

Although the Baycats won 11-10, scoring the winning point in the final inning of regular play, the experience of watching the ball game in the sun, with friendly neighbourhood strangers, including couples, families, and groups of friends, stirred up a sense of pride over an otherwise unsexy park. The Blossington Post now wishes Christie Pits belonged clearly, and exclusively, to Bloorcourt.

Christie Pits was a designated dumping spot during last summer's garbage strike

As a preventative measure against people who like to enlighten us with journalistic ethics that we are already fully aware of, we would like to clearly acknowledge that Dominico Field is technically just outside of Bloorcourt, and therefore, outside of our normal reporting boundaries. Still, the Blossington Post would like to point out that municipal parks are very much like international waters...okay, well we don't actually have a real defense and cannot be bothered to find a relevant precedence.

We have a corny excuse though, which usually works well when tempering the scorn of senior citizens. Blossington residence should be in the know about free, sun-filled Sunday events in our almost-hood. If the Christie Post has something to say in retaliation to our boundary breach, we would gladly do a ten step pace followed by a turn-and-draw in the park at dusk, dawn, or some other equally dramatic time.

So come on down neighbourhood folks, buy a hot-dog, bring a beer. Just because the Maple Leafs lost the first game of the intercounty baseball season, doesn't mean it was a shameful defeat. Even if they had home field advantage, watching the Leafs' genuine hustle, including ten well earned points, was satisfying in itself.

Typical Baseball game, enjoy a closer view when in the Pits

The next home game is this Sunday, May 9th, when the Maple Leafs will face the Guelph Royals, who lost their first game of the season to the Brantford Red Sox. So head over to Dominico Field for the Maple Leaf's third game, starting at 2:00pm. Keep in mind that the transition time between innings is really long, so if you do make it in time for the top of the first, plan on staying awhile. Cheer especially loud for Toronto Maple Leaf's first baseman, number 11, Dan Gibbons. He was a major factor in turning the tide mid-game when it looked like Barrie's to-be victory would not be threatened.

If you can't make it out this week, check out this season's schedule. Sunday's home games always start at 2:00pm, and weekdays' games conveniently start after most office hours.

"What do you want? Let's play ball."


(All photos from Wikimedia Commons)

Chaos In and Around Ossington Station

 A mob of people wait for transportation

Chaos at the Ossington Subway station spilled over to the South West corner of Blossington this morning. People at the major intersection were apparently waiting for taxis, while the people flooding the station were insisting on getting onto buses. TTC bus drivers were forced to take on the burden as the transportation company tried desperately to compensate for lack of underground service. Expect TTC delays for at least another hour this morning, May 2nd. Expect, also, to be late. Everyone knows TTC buses are never as fast as our underground rockets.

Tight lipped TTC Constable only answers patrons questions regarding service

So what happened?

"It's an emergency in the subway," said the TTC Constable, who refused to give up any further details. But the Blossington Post has eyes all over the west end. Essentially, we got the bloody scoop anyway.   

At approximately 9:30am today, on the southbound platform of Bathurst Station, screams were heard, followed by a young-ish man jumping in front of the train. Blood splat onto the platform. Our witness, who wishes to remain anonymous, was gravely disturbed by the experience.

 Ossington Station at approximately 9:30am

Back at Ossington Station, people are spewing  flurries of questions directed at anyone in uniform. People are insisting for service, ignorant that while they complain about lack of service, somebody is scooping up pieces of a dead man's body off the tracks. Nobody is making clear-cut statements about when the trains will start running again. Buses have been, and continue to be, available.

(All photos by DmD)

Blossington Updates

Alexandros finally opened its doors

Remember how that Greek restaurant was taking its sweet ass time to open to the public? Well the doors finally opened last week at Alexandros Bar and Grill, who boast the World's Most Famous Gyros. The outcome of the interior revamp proves that their time was spent wisely. However, claiming to have the "World's Most Famous Gyros" is a definite stretch. Their food sucks. In fact, it is almost as bad as Astoria's food in it's final days of operations. Alexandros' interior revamp, therefore, is unlikely to pay off.

Alexandros' revamp; a dramatic change from Astoria's nasty interior

Still, we have a sneaky suspicion that the owners don't really care. Was their Blossington location (they have two others elsewhere) built merely to show financial losses? We could be wrong in thinking yes, but then again, we are usually right about these sort of things. Either way, with the big screen TV, nice new furniture, and reasonably priced beer, this will be the local World Cup fever outlet for neighbourhood boys and girls who don't want to leave the block just to join in on international football fun.

For those of you who have fallen off the Gigi wagon, you can get right back on. They may have broken their promise once, but the Prom King and Queen were at their shop this morning, brewing up a storm and serving up our much missed bites. They actually did it! Though they opened an hour later than they indicated (yesterday's sign promised 8:00am), we were just glad to have them back. Oh yeah, the place looks amazing, so it was well worth the additional day spent in waiting.

A picture of Brook's posting, look out for it, if you have info

Our favorite you're-not-from-around-here, Brook, whose Opus was stolen right in front of Discount Income Tax Services was seen back on the block this evening. We admire his persistence. The good people of our hood will hopefully keep their eyes open for his bike. His love for it has been proven. Brook's posted signs all over Blossington with pictures of his missing bike, along with a detailed description, and an offer of $200 for the brave soul to come forth and return his long lost love. He doesn't care who returns his bike, he won't ask questions, and promises to pay $200 to the person that does. If you have any information about his yellow Opus racer, please comment on this post, or look around the hood for his posting and email him directly.

"I've lost a lot of sleep, and I'll probably continue to do so," Brook said. The Blossington Post admires his love, and continues to wish him good luck on his hunt.


(All photos by DmD)

Even Cafes Suffer Without a Project Manager

Today's, Friday April 29th, sign

Our favourite neighbourhood cafe, Saving Gigi's, broke their promise. In doing that, they broke our hearts. Our morning physical mantra, getting coffee at Gigi's, was thrown off kilter on Tuesday. Blossington residents were forbidden from getting into their beloved cafe, confronted with the most unresponsive bouncer, a sign. Posted on the door, the dreaded note read that Gigi's would be closed on April 27th and 28th. It also read, "Sorry!"

To everyone's dismay, our happy, much anticipated trip for morning coffee ended today in sadness when we saw a new sign on the locked doors. This time, the note apologized first and delayed reopening second.  The pathetic part is customers couldn't even stoop for their morning brew at Gigi's adjacent competitor, Coffee Time, because they too have been "closed for renovations" for quite some time.

Thomas works away with wood on the Gigi's patio

As the saying goes, "shit happens." But Murphy's Law has forever warned us against unexpected tragedies. The truth is, the owners broke their promise because they set unrealistic goals for their vast undertaking. Looking through the window and at the patio, on the first day of closure, it seemed like a grand feat for the Prom King and Queen et al. to complete in the short time they had indicated. Let this micro-scenario be a reminder to big companies that they need to hire Project Managers.

Inside the cafe, as of Tuesday Afternoon

Even on day two of being closed, the place looked far from renovated. One would have expected to see the sign in the window earlier. Still, we have forgiven the Prom King and Queen. After all, they are not a big company, and can't afford a PM. As loyal subjects in their court, we trust that this grand undertaking is likely making our local chill spot more chill. That said, we can't help but suggest that they read Robert Munsch's classic tale as a form of playful penance.

(All photos by DmD)

Stolen Opus on Bloor

Brook begs police dispatch for at least 20 minutes

‘Tis the season for bike theft. We hate to say, “I told you so.” But, we told you so, so don’t complain. Only an alien to our neighbourhood could be exempt from Blossington torture and ridicule, punishment for not reading our last post.

Unfortunately, Bloor happened upon one such alien today. A few hours ago, Blossington witnessed a meltdown of sorts. Brook, a young man who lives at Jane and Eglinton, got his $3,000 Opus racer stolen from outside Discount Income Tax Services at 870 Bloor. 

Brook's Friend at Discount Income Tax Services

The result: panic, chaos, disorder, lots of warranted cursing and unabashed begging of a police dispatcher to “please just send them, please.” Brook was seen along Bloor frantic, stopping traffic, and asking random passerbys if they had seen his bike, and “Do you have my bike, please?” With tears flooding his eye sockets, it didn’t seem to occur to Brook that he was outside in his socks, that they were white, and that they were getting dirtier by the minute. 

Brook all over Bloor in his white socks

Brook says he was only in the tax shop for two minutes before noticing his expensive yellow bike was gone. Procrastinating on your taxes, Brook? What a waste. According to him, the rims, alone, cost $1,000.

We hate to kick a dog when it’s down but still felt compelled to press Brook on what type of lock he was using.

“No lock...” said Brook under his breath, followed by, “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

So, why did Brook choose Discount Income Tax Services when he lives at Jane and Eglinton?

“Because I know a girl that works in there....Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” Brook told Blossington Post reporter, DmD. 

He's obviously not from around here. He approached The Blossington Scum Bags, hoping for a witness. He made such a scene, that whoever was keeping his bike hostage, would not surface until way past nightfall, until way after bed.

Brook frantic, making a scene. He almost got hit by a car

Jano, a.k.a. Janush, a.k.a. the owner of Cyclemania said, “If you lost your welfare, and were acting like that, maybe I would feel sorry.” Jano was bitter because Brook had stormed into his shop, and without reason, repetitively insisted, “I want my bike, give me my bike.” Genius way to broach a subject with a group of guys who might actually help. Either way, Jano didn’t know where Brook's bike was, and now, he's far from starting to care. 

We wish Brook good luck on his hunt. Though he’ll probably forever hate Blossington, we, the people, will likewise forever wonder whether ignorance really is bliss. If you come to Bloorcourt, at least bring a lock child. 

(All photos by DmD)

Bike Theft on Bloor (and Ossington)

Dismembered bike, somebody stole the white rimmed wheels

Do you love your bike? Do you live in and around Blossington? Then remember that no lock, no matter how superior, will guarantee bike protection in this neighbourhood. Those who own the streets here are scavengers. They'll steal empty beer cans from their own clan to make a couple-a-cents. That is a fact.

Since the weather has gotten better, the Blossington Post has received numerous horror stories relating to bicycle theft in Bloorcourt. The stories vary in intensity, but when you love your bike, any degree of harm inflicted on it will leave you feeling violated. 

 Chance, minutes after discovering his bike (above) had been tampered with

Chance, aka, Chauncy, aka, Chase, aka, hot-stuff-coming-through, is a long time resident of the Blossington block. Usually, on weather permitting days, Chance rides his bicycle to work. But, it rained all day yesterday, so Chance paid for the TTC. That wouldn't be all he would have to suffer through.

He left his blue baby in its usual spot, with her white rimmed wheels, locked in front of Rui Gomes. 

Later that evening, from inside the windows of Rui Gomes, a zombie like version of Chance was seen as he crept slowly, pale faced, toward something mangled on the ground.

"My wheels. They took her wheels! They raped my baby!" he said.

One of the cute cashiers at Rui Gomes said she witnessed the entire thing. According to her, it happened around 2:00pm. The thief wasn't one of the typical Neighbourhood Scum Bags. Whoever he was though, he  had big enough balls to walk up to the bike midday with a wrench, and take apart Chance's baby – fearless of spectators and consequence.

"First he take one wheel," the Gomes cashier said, "then he go. Ten minutes later, he take another wheel, and go."

The cashier said she stood by the window watching the thief, hoping it would scare him into stopping. She didn't want to get herself or her employer in trouble so she avoided going outside to verbally threaten him.

Chance was devastated. This isn't the first time he's been the victim of bike theft. 

"It'll be fine, but my poor bike has been through enough. A crack head stole her. He sold her to me on the street for ten dollars." Chance told a Blossington Post reporter as one of his roommates tried to console him.

"Then they stole her seat. It was extra squishy. And then her broken ass seat got put back on," he continued.

"And now they took her wheels, but they cannot take my bike!" he exclaimed with war like passion.

 Chance brings the remnants of his bike into his apartment

How then can residents, like Chance, protect their bicycle on Bloor? Chance bought a top of the line bike lock, thinking it would fully insure him against theft. It wasn't enough. Some people carry around separate locks for their frames and wheels. But when there is a will on Bloor Street, there is a way. If people will break through one lock, they will break through two, and three and more.

Most people who live along Bloor live above a shop of sorts. That equals stairs, no elevator, and more stairs. True, Chance lives on the third floor of his apartment complex. But, the Blossington Post says, if you really love your bike, then prove it; lift it up those stairs, the way you would your bride. It's the only way to really safeguard your bike in this neighbourhood. 

(All photos by DmD)

Fire at 795 Ossington

Corner of Bloor and Ossington at 7:30am, April 1st

  

Blossington got an epic scare this morning, Thursday April 1st. A house near the entrance to the Ossington Subway station erupted in flames just before 6:00am. Numerous fire trucks flooded the scene, sirens yelling as though they were playing an April Fools Day joke on Blossington residents.  But the pictures suggest this was no joke.

City Trucks block Ossington, North of Bloor 

There is no word on how the fire started, but what we do know is that it introduced itself at one-alarm status. For a while it appeared as though the fire workers had contained the flaming beast. But it was just Nature's way of saying, "April Fools!" Extra enforcement got called in when the fire’s status jumped up to two-alarm. These flames weren't joking around. Because all the houses along Ossington’s North East side are built close together, neighbours, especially the adjoined home, were afraid the fire would easily spread to affect more houses. The fire workers were able to contain the fire, though.

Cop directs traffic, as she helps fire trucks exit scene at Bloor and Ossington

At 7:45am, the ambulances and fire trucks began to back away; thankfully, they didn’t use their sirens to exit. A dog was rescued from the house at 795 Ossington, and there are no reports of injuries suffered by human residents.

Although the subway station managed to run smoothly throughout most of the disaster, Ossington was closed between Bloor and northward until Pendrith, blocked by piles of fancy flashing trucks. Besides the residents of the burnt house, people commuting to work on Ossington were seriously inconvenienced, and those of us who actually live here were woken, and kept up, by an entourage of urban Roosters crowing pre-dawn. Each time residents tried to fall back asleep, a new truck would screetch it's way into the scene, with sirens hollaring, "April Fool's Day, Fool." Gotta give them credit for making the noon deadline, and coming in with a bang.

 

(All photos by DmD)

Blossington's Rusted Pendulum Swings?

 Coffee Time, 864 Bloor Street West, a few weeks ago

Last post, Blossington Post unveiled the secret ops of its very own neighbourhood scum bags. For years, Bloorcourt has suffered through crime and grime. One of the manufacturers of grime in this hood has been Coffee Time, located on 864 Bloor Street West. Nobody has summed up this grime factory better than Rogue Journalist, who is apparently a werewolf that lives in Blossington.

Our neighbourhood has no identity. And, lack of identity is the most apparent malfunction, infecting the core of our hood. The Coffee Time franchise not only marks economic poverty in an area, but it is also an indicator that the surrounding environment is culturally weak. When Saving Gigi opened across the street from Coffee Time, many locals started to detect a sense of community, and gather a collective pride from the super hip neighbourhood cafe. As a result, Coffee Time took a hit.

 Coffee Time windows boarded up with paper

A few of weeks ago, Coffee Time boarded off its windows from the inside and the lights went out. Was the music over? A closer inspection revealed a paper posting in the window which ripped apart our hopes that the Blossington pendulum was swinging toward the side of coolest-freakin’-hood-in-the-whole-freakin’- city. The sign read, “We are closed for Renovations” and was printed with Coffee Time Letter head.

So why does the Blossington Post find this worthy of reporting?

 Sign on the door  :(   we were hoping for an eviction notice.

 864 Bloor Street, without Coffee Time logo on signage 

Well, unless an already suffering franchise wants to spend lots of money on a new sign (super expensive) while renovating the interior (mo money), in the early stages of recession recovery, then losing the letters on their outdoor sign probably indicates that they will be bought out. This deconstruction happened within the last week, after the reno signs were placed. Here, in the offices of the Blossinton Post, staff members are excited. We think our little neighbourhood cafe has earned a victory, not only for themselves, but for the betterment of our hood. We've been pushing that rusty pendulum for years, oiling it with neighbourhood praise, but only time will tell if our efforts will take effect. Coolest-freakin'-hood-in-the-whole-freakin'-city-status here we come.

Fingers crossed, we’ll keep you posted.

(photos by DmD)

Blossing Scum Bags Exposed

 South East corner of Blossington (ATTN: blue kiosk)

 
The Scum Bags of Blossington, you know, those abrasive dudes who basically live in front of the Bloor Cafe and are constantly intoxicated, are actually quite clever. Well, ‘clever’ is relative. But, if you take into an account that they are barely functional, then ‘clever’ is actually an accurate word to describe what Blossington reporter, DmD, has discovered about their secret ops.

It’s amazing what internal persuasion can provoke. We’re all very well aware of the innate mechanism of species on Earth called ‘survival.’ When people are poor, they find creative ways of sustaining themselves. In this way, even really dumb people can appear ‘clever’ when they impress you with their ‘survival’ tactics.

For the Blossington Scum Bags, their survival methodology is simple: prioritize for addictions, leaving necessities of life at a close second. Everything else is way too civilized and, as a Scum Bag once said in response to a cop, “fuck civility.” Certainly, their actions suggest they want nothing to do with conforming to Canadian principles of civilization. 

The cat calling is one thing: “Ola Lola.” They sneer every time I walk by, piss on residential doors, howl about crack before dawn breaks, and brawl over lost bets at all hours of the day. (The list goes on. So, if you’d like to challenge the perspective here, feel free to ream me out in the comment section.)

Blossington reporter, DmD, has been watching them (from above) for months, finally discovering their secret ops, which facilitate their drinking way past a Smart Serve Certifiable allowance. The Government of Ontario should thank DmD, since her discovery obliterates common rumours that the LCBO continues to serve these guys beyond their belligerency on a daily basis.

 Couple Scum Bags lined up before doors open

The Blossington Scum Bags line up outside the LCBO at minutes to 10am. They buy loads of alcohol as soon as the doors open for business. They stash their booze in black cloth bags, then leave those bags in the only establishment they still have a decent rapport with – The Bloor Cafe. That way, if stopped by the police for [insert any valid reason here] the cops will have nothing concrete to book them with. Most of the time, the Blossington Scum Bags pretend they don't understand English when the police question them. And, they obviously never have identification. Their strategy is so flawless that only trial and error could have tweaked it to such perfection.

Now, here’s the kicker. There’s an emergency stash.

 Emergency stash...can you guess what happens next?

Why is there an emergency stash?

When they are rejected by the LCBO for being too wasted, they start to drink at Stan’s Bar and Grill, a dirty dive next door to the LCBO. Stan’s staff knows these guys well, so trial and error once again prevails. Their bags get checked now. Stan’s is, after all, trying to run a business. No buy, no stay. So now they go to Stan’s and buy a single pint. Stan is happy; it is probably his only legal sale for the day.

So here’s what DmD saw the Blossington Scum Bags doing: exploiting the system, and expanding on their already powerful strategy.  They stash their remaining cans (not with each other, they can’t trust each other) but in the Job Employment kiosk on the South East corner of Blossington. It is FREE to open limitlessly, and really, who on Blossington - who isn’t already employed - actually wants a job (*ahem*). They’re far too happy living off of social assistance and drinking their days away. Essentially, nobody opens those kiosk doors unless they know what they are looking for, which is Not-A-Job.

 Door number one, opened early morning before stashing happens

Door number 2....this is premium locker space!

D

Door number three...as you can see, Homes and Land does not match our demographic

Still, the Blossington Post warns all readers, not to open the kiosk doors with hopes of snatching up a free tall can. The Scum Bags have eyes all over this block, and you’ll get beat the fuck down. If you happen to get away with beer thieving one day, be assured revenge is served best on a cold platter. And seriously, it’s not worth carrying around the weight of that paranoia. You could easily go two steps east and get the same bloody can for $2. Why stoop?

That’s the scoop.

(Photos by DmD)

Eye on Bloorcourt Business

 Tick Tock, Anybody home?

A light has been spotted through the cracks of the paper covered windows of Alexandros Bar and Grill. Does this mean we can expect a March first opening? For the past three months, the owners have allegedly been doing some serious renovations on the place, whose once really dingy interior belonged to a nasty nook called Athens’ Astoria. Hopefully, they got super cheap reno-labour and a serious transformation out of their time because, as it appears, they’ve already spent a lot of rent money before even opening their doors to the public.

Speaking of taking forever to commence operations, Shawarma Flames finally served its first customer after boasting a nice graphically designed sign, and locked doors for over two months. Blossington Post reporter, DmD, discovered Shawarma Flames’s first customer and got some feed back as to the quality of food. The proud patron was actually our neighbourhood’s sexiest and wittiest man, Ronald Baker, a.k.a. Pants, a.k.a., Ronny, a.k.a Johnson, a.k.a., Mr. Anderson, the host of The Ronald Baker Radio Revue, on CFRE 91.9fm radio. Ronny, like many people in the neighbourhood, took advantage of the Grand Opening deal, which offered any sandwich for $1.49 plus, what is still known as, GST. Ronny’s rating, was that it was okay, Blossington Post trusts his opinion 100%. When we went to check out the latest food joint in our neighbourhood the final verdict was that it was a good sandwich for $1.49 but hardly worth $4.50, the post grand opening price of the shawarma. The three day long sale has expired, so if you missed a cheap chance to taste our latest Shawarma joint out, you'll take a $3 hit trying a sandwich you'll likely never order again.

The late, though not great, Zagol space still has for lease signs

The for lease sign in, what used to be, Zagol, a fly by the night type of restaurant, based on a pipe dream to compete with one of the best Ethiopian restaurants in the entire city, Lalibela. Zagol opened a few doors down from Lalibela, and only lasted a few months before closing. Should Blossington’s neighbourhood residents express sympathy or regret toward the owners of the failed Zagol? To quote one of Blossington’s greatest captains, Ferguson, “Negative.” What kind of idiot actually thought this hood needed yet another Ethiopian restaurant, low grade Shawarma place, or old-Greek-man hang out?


(All photos by DmD)

The Blossington Olympics

(Left to Right) Sana's thumb, Jeff-co reciprocates, a thumbs up

For the past week Sana, a.k.a., Suana and Jeff-co have been screwing. They are really taking their time, making sure they do it right. Jeff-co is more experienced, so he helps Sana out, taking the lead, and showing her how the old schoolers do it. Sometimes they screw at Jeff-co's place, and sometimes they screw at Sana's (even when her roommate is watching).    

Sana apprentices under Jeff-co's germanic instruction

It's all in the name of Valentine's Day. Well, actually, what used to be known by bike couriers as the Valentine Day Massacre, an annual ice race that took place on Toronto Island. For the past several years, however, the ice race, Icycle, a.k.a. Bikes on Ice, is held at Dufferin Grove Park. This year's race will take off on Saturday February 13th between 7:00 and 10:00pm.

As our nations Olympians conglomerate today in Vancouver, so do our Blossington heroes prepare for their big race in our neighbourhood's neighbouring neighbourhood. Though we'll have to venture out of Bloorcourt to pay witness to this grand event, we know we are well represented by Sana and Jeff-co, a current bike courier and a retired one, respectively.   

Sana studs her wheel

Jeff-co pumped up and ready to win the race

"I'm super fucking stoked," says Sana, who is a virgin to the ice race.

Sana was just a toddler when Jeff-co was partaking in the two holiday themed races, the Halloween Alley Cat Scramble and the Valentine Day Massacre. For Jeff-co, who spent 10 years couriering, tomorrow's race is just a peddle in the park, but for Sana, who's been on the road for just a year, this race will be a slippery slop to circumnavigate.

Time is not on her side. With two nights to go before the meet, Sana and Jeff-co head to Christie Pitts with their freshly studded wheels and padded knees, to give shredding the ice a go. After crashing several times, and getting right back on her bike, Sana impressed the Oak Tree.

"I'm proud of her," Jeff-co says. "She asked me about technique, and I told her, 'there isn't one.' Everybody crashes. But you just get up."

Sana smiles but her eyes speak fear

The event itself is divided into four categories, women's studded, and women's rubber, tire race, and the same two tire distinguished categories for the men. Traditionally, the race was for couriers but these days anyone can test their luck.

Sana has a heavy bike to bear, she will be representing Blossington in the women's studded tire race. Jeff-co will represent Blossington in the men's studded tire race. None of them use rubbers. We are counting on our debaucherous athletes to make our block proud. And, although the official after party (open to the public) will take place at Bike Pirates, our expected victors will celebrate in true V.I.P. fashion, a private party held at Cyclemania.

Jeff-co poses for an unlikely loss

We don't think Jeff-co will lose, but as the classic saying goes, "If you're not first, you're last." That may be a lot of pressure Jeffie, but if he can't do it, the Blossington Post doesn't know who can. Either way this race is particularly fun to watch. Win, lose, crash, or burn we'll be rooting for our neighbourhood heroes and will celebrate the action, not the outcome.

As part of the Olympic Creed reads, "The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well."

(All photos by DmD)

Hurry! Employment Opportunities at CONC

 Tags and Tagger from L.O.F.T.

Blossington’s community centre, the Christie Ossington Neighbourhood Centre (CONC), is hiring. This should be received as exciting news to the unemployed young adults in our hood. For one thing, the folks who are already employed at the neighbourhood centre, like Javid Alibhai, are amazing people with good hearts working toward progressive community goals.

Below, I give all y'all prospective candidates a briefing about who and what you'd be associated with by joining the wicked team at CONC (If you are interested you should be clicking the links to get to know more about CONC. But if you didn't know that, you should probably go back to school for career planning advice).

Alibhai, is an artistic mentor for the youth who frequent L.O.F.T. (Life, Opportunities, Food, Technology), located in the basement of the CONC building. Besides visual art, LOFT is also a space that is set up for musically inclined youth. The basement space at CONC has some serious sound systems and equipment. Still, LOFT does not exclusively cater to artistically driven dudes and dudettes. There are computers with internet access for people to explore the cyber world and enhance their technological skills.

These are not L.O.F.T. tags but this man reps the hood still

There is a bunch more that goes on at CONC which is not just a space for youth. Adults drop in to get food, help in their employment search, and a sense of belonging. Our neighbourhood is great and so is our community centre, and this is an exciting way to join the team.

Below is a list of the jobs available at CONC. If you are interested, take a walk just slightly off the block to 854 Bloor Street, bring your smile and ask the people at the front desk for further details. However, if you decide that you are super stoked about CONC generally, and just want to get your foot in the door without knowing the specifics you can send your résumé and cover letter to the following address roy@conc.ca

Opportunity #1
Support Worker - application due Feb. 11. Start date ASAP. $9.50/hour

Opportunity #2
Technical Support Worker - application due ASAP. Start date ASAP. $9.50/hour.

Opportunity #3
Junior Marketing Director - application due ASAP. Start date ASAP. $9.50/hour

Opportunity #4
Junior Sales Director - application due Feb. 11. Start date ASAP. $9.50/hour

Opportunity #5
Engineer / Producer (LOFT sound studio) - applications due Feb 11. Start date ASAP. $9.50/hour

Opportunity #6
Administrative Support and Social Media Specialist - application due Feb. Start date ASAP. $9.50/hour
***This position requires a hand delivered résumé and cover letter***

(All photos by DmD)

We Can't Get Enough of Their Love Babe

 Saving Gigi sign board foreshadows today's events

All make way for the Prom King and Queen of Blossington! Kristjan, a.k.a. 7-11, a.k.a. Prom King, a.k.a the John of Christ and Amelia, a.k.a. Bedelia, a.k.a. Prom Queen, a.k.a. Amy mount their thrones today, making the Blossington block their place of residence, thus securing their binarchy* in the Bloorcourt hood. Seems like the royal pair just can’t get enough of Bloorcourt, babe. And who could blame ‘em? They are adored by their many subjects, customers and friends.

The move into the neighbourhood, as flattering as it is to staple community members, is probably more about convenience than about the royal pair wanting to be close to the subjects of their kingdom.

For the months since they captured the helm as owners of Saving Gigi, a.k.a. The Best Café in the Universe, Rex ‘n’ Regina (actually, Winnipeg) have trekked daily – usually by bike – to and from their place of residence at St. Clair and [there’s-nothing-north-of-Bloor]. This commute has taken a toll on the small business owners who work really hard, ensuring our neighbourhood continues its upward climb toward the-coolest-freakin’-hood-in-the-whole-freakin’-city status.

Amelia during Gigi's Sunday brunch

 “We’re so tired,” said Kristjan, yesterday at 7:30pm at Ronny’s place which is just across the street from the café. “We have the keys. But Amy is home packing and I want to wait for her before entering our new apartment. I am going to carry her across the threshold.”

Kristjan taking a smoke break. No rest for the wicked!

Their stress induced exhaustion will be granted some reprieve today. As I write this, Kristjan, Jeff-co, a.k.a. Ferguson, a.k.a Oak Tree, Amelia, Amelia’s sister Erin, and Erin’s boyfriend Tim, are all lending hands to the moving effort which should be completed by sunset. Erin and Erin’s boyfriend will take over their residency at St. Clair and [there’s-nothing-north-of-Bloor].

In the meantime in between time, Chelsie, a.k.a. The Next Great American Novelist in Canada has been holding down the fort all morning, serving up various coffees and teas to dedicated customers of Saving Gigi and neighbourhood passer bys who find the quaint café worth entering. Chelsie was joined by the Spanish Sandwich Maker, better known as Claudia. So things appear to be moving smoothly at the café, even in the absence of the king and queen who are busy moving their crown jewels into Blossington.

Chelsie, busy at work, still makes time to smile

You want convenience? You got it! Kristjan and Amelia have lots of pull in their kingdom. They scored the apartment exactly above their café. Still, as the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for. While the pros to this “classic system” of living are countless, there is one significantly heavy con worth noting as well.

Prom Queen and King's double-decker, multifuctional estate

“He’ll never leave the block,” says Jeff-co about his good friend Kristjan. “Well maybe, just maybe, he’ll go as far as Dovercourt. Trust me, I know.”

Jeff-co is an authority on the subject because his place of residence is also directly above his work place.

“He has everything he needs right here,” said Jeff-co, who blames his lack of venturing beyond the Blossington boundaries on his similar living arrangement.

But Amelia and Kristjan are not thinking about the negative factors involved; after all,  never having to leave our idyllic though primarily concrete block is probably a good thing. It minimizes the already minuscule microcosm of Toronto into a single city block, which is a fascinating phenomenon to live through in itself. Plus, when living the "classic system," benefits abound. Imagine never having to shit at work because you're home is two seconds away. Amazing!  Imagine waking up late for work and still making it on time. Incredible! Imagine telling your staff, midday, that you "will be gone for a few minutes," followed by, "if the ceiling lights are a shakin', please remain a' bakin'." Sensational!

With Their Majesties on site, we can all cancel cellular phone subscriptions and finally start the tin can 'n' string design of our dreams. The blueprints have been in the works for just under a year. Now is the time to put our brilliant plan into action. But until then, tonight should be about christianing (Kristjaning?) the crib. All sorts of debauchery are guaranteed to follow. Let's hope they have a doorbell. You can ring my bell, ring my bell, my bell, deen-diddling-deens.

*The coined word, binarchy, is used so as to stress the absolute duality of the Amy-Kris unit. Using "Monarchy" would not do the couple justice.Other forms of binarchy: bi-archy. Which do you prefer?

(All photos by DmD)