Search This Blog


Bike Theft on Bloor (and Ossington)

Dismembered bike, somebody stole the white rimmed wheels

Do you love your bike? Do you live in and around Blossington? Then remember that no lock, no matter how superior, will guarantee bike protection in this neighbourhood. Those who own the streets here are scavengers. They'll steal empty beer cans from their own clan to make a couple-a-cents. That is a fact.

Since the weather has gotten better, the Blossington Post has received numerous horror stories relating to bicycle theft in Bloorcourt. The stories vary in intensity, but when you love your bike, any degree of harm inflicted on it will leave you feeling violated. 

 Chance, minutes after discovering his bike (above) had been tampered with

Chance, aka, Chauncy, aka, Chase, aka, hot-stuff-coming-through, is a long time resident of the Blossington block. Usually, on weather permitting days, Chance rides his bicycle to work. But, it rained all day yesterday, so Chance paid for the TTC. That wouldn't be all he would have to suffer through.

He left his blue baby in its usual spot, with her white rimmed wheels, locked in front of Rui Gomes. 

Later that evening, from inside the windows of Rui Gomes, a zombie like version of Chance was seen as he crept slowly, pale faced, toward something mangled on the ground.

"My wheels. They took her wheels! They raped my baby!" he said.

One of the cute cashiers at Rui Gomes said she witnessed the entire thing. According to her, it happened around 2:00pm. The thief wasn't one of the typical Neighbourhood Scum Bags. Whoever he was though, he  had big enough balls to walk up to the bike midday with a wrench, and take apart Chance's baby – fearless of spectators and consequence.

"First he take one wheel," the Gomes cashier said, "then he go. Ten minutes later, he take another wheel, and go."

The cashier said she stood by the window watching the thief, hoping it would scare him into stopping. She didn't want to get herself or her employer in trouble so she avoided going outside to verbally threaten him.

Chance was devastated. This isn't the first time he's been the victim of bike theft. 

"It'll be fine, but my poor bike has been through enough. A crack head stole her. He sold her to me on the street for ten dollars." Chance told a Blossington Post reporter as one of his roommates tried to console him.

"Then they stole her seat. It was extra squishy. And then her broken ass seat got put back on," he continued.

"And now they took her wheels, but they cannot take my bike!" he exclaimed with war like passion.

 Chance brings the remnants of his bike into his apartment

How then can residents, like Chance, protect their bicycle on Bloor? Chance bought a top of the line bike lock, thinking it would fully insure him against theft. It wasn't enough. Some people carry around separate locks for their frames and wheels. But when there is a will on Bloor Street, there is a way. If people will break through one lock, they will break through two, and three and more.

Most people who live along Bloor live above a shop of sorts. That equals stairs, no elevator, and more stairs. True, Chance lives on the third floor of his apartment complex. But, the Blossington Post says, if you really love your bike, then prove it; lift it up those stairs, the way you would your bride. It's the only way to really safeguard your bike in this neighbourhood. 

(All photos by DmD)


  1. We are sorry for the numerous grammatical errors printed in the original publication of this post. They've all been corrected now...we hope.

  2. Chance shouldn't feel too sorry for himself.. If he's willing to buy a bike he knows is stolen... he has to pay the price into that karmic system.

    Maybe he should get rid of the rest of it, or take a gander at Criminal Code Section 354,355, lest his interview come back to haunt him...

  3. The Blossington Post is happy to announce that Chance got a brand new bike, purchased at Canadian Tire, as a gift from his father. They purchased it the same day they dumped his sweet baby at the junk yard. Oh, by the way, this is the second brand new bike that Chance bought in six months.