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We Can't Get Enough of Their Love Babe

 Saving Gigi sign board foreshadows today's events

All make way for the Prom King and Queen of Blossington! Kristjan, a.k.a. 7-11, a.k.a. Prom King, a.k.a the John of Christ and Amelia, a.k.a. Bedelia, a.k.a. Prom Queen, a.k.a. Amy mount their thrones today, making the Blossington block their place of residence, thus securing their binarchy* in the Bloorcourt hood. Seems like the royal pair just can’t get enough of Bloorcourt, babe. And who could blame ‘em? They are adored by their many subjects, customers and friends.

The move into the neighbourhood, as flattering as it is to staple community members, is probably more about convenience than about the royal pair wanting to be close to the subjects of their kingdom.

For the months since they captured the helm as owners of Saving Gigi, a.k.a. The Best Café in the Universe, Rex ‘n’ Regina (actually, Winnipeg) have trekked daily – usually by bike – to and from their place of residence at St. Clair and [there’s-nothing-north-of-Bloor]. This commute has taken a toll on the small business owners who work really hard, ensuring our neighbourhood continues its upward climb toward the-coolest-freakin’-hood-in-the-whole-freakin’-city status.

Amelia during Gigi's Sunday brunch

 “We’re so tired,” said Kristjan, yesterday at 7:30pm at Ronny’s place which is just across the street from the café. “We have the keys. But Amy is home packing and I want to wait for her before entering our new apartment. I am going to carry her across the threshold.”

Kristjan taking a smoke break. No rest for the wicked!

Their stress induced exhaustion will be granted some reprieve today. As I write this, Kristjan, Jeff-co, a.k.a. Ferguson, a.k.a Oak Tree, Amelia, Amelia’s sister Erin, and Erin’s boyfriend Tim, are all lending hands to the moving effort which should be completed by sunset. Erin and Erin’s boyfriend will take over their residency at St. Clair and [there’s-nothing-north-of-Bloor].

In the meantime in between time, Chelsie, a.k.a. The Next Great American Novelist in Canada has been holding down the fort all morning, serving up various coffees and teas to dedicated customers of Saving Gigi and neighbourhood passer bys who find the quaint café worth entering. Chelsie was joined by the Spanish Sandwich Maker, better known as Claudia. So things appear to be moving smoothly at the café, even in the absence of the king and queen who are busy moving their crown jewels into Blossington.

Chelsie, busy at work, still makes time to smile

You want convenience? You got it! Kristjan and Amelia have lots of pull in their kingdom. They scored the apartment exactly above their café. Still, as the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for. While the pros to this “classic system” of living are countless, there is one significantly heavy con worth noting as well.

Prom Queen and King's double-decker, multifuctional estate

“He’ll never leave the block,” says Jeff-co about his good friend Kristjan. “Well maybe, just maybe, he’ll go as far as Dovercourt. Trust me, I know.”

Jeff-co is an authority on the subject because his place of residence is also directly above his work place.

“He has everything he needs right here,” said Jeff-co, who blames his lack of venturing beyond the Blossington boundaries on his similar living arrangement.

But Amelia and Kristjan are not thinking about the negative factors involved; after all,  never having to leave our idyllic though primarily concrete block is probably a good thing. It minimizes the already minuscule microcosm of Toronto into a single city block, which is a fascinating phenomenon to live through in itself. Plus, when living the "classic system," benefits abound. Imagine never having to shit at work because you're home is two seconds away. Amazing!  Imagine waking up late for work and still making it on time. Incredible! Imagine telling your staff, midday, that you "will be gone for a few minutes," followed by, "if the ceiling lights are a shakin', please remain a' bakin'." Sensational!

With Their Majesties on site, we can all cancel cellular phone subscriptions and finally start the tin can 'n' string design of our dreams. The blueprints have been in the works for just under a year. Now is the time to put our brilliant plan into action. But until then, tonight should be about christianing (Kristjaning?) the crib. All sorts of debauchery are guaranteed to follow. Let's hope they have a doorbell. You can ring my bell, ring my bell, my bell, deen-diddling-deens.

*The coined word, binarchy, is used so as to stress the absolute duality of the Amy-Kris unit. Using "Monarchy" would not do the couple justice.Other forms of binarchy: bi-archy. Which do you prefer?

(All photos by DmD)

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