Fungus Sprouts in Dirt

One of the most amazing properties of fungi is that one day they are not there, then suddenly, the next morning, they are fully grown. Lava Video, a sex shop located at 941 Bloor Street West is the most notable addition to Blossington. Fungi need heat plus moisture to magically sprout over night. With today, May 19th, being one of the hottest days of 2010 so far, it only made sense that the nice fellow at the adjacent bulk store was able to confirm that the shop certainly did sprout over night. It wasn't there yesterday.

Since today is the first day the adult store emerged from the dirt in Blossington, we feel compelled to make the connection to a bright yellow fungus, especially Leucocoprinus birnbaumii, a.k.a. Lepiota Lutea, a.k.a. The Yellow House Plant Mushroom. Although the adult store was closed as of 11:30am today, it, as its mushroom counterpart, will likely not waste time sprouting into full effect. 

Be forewarned, the Yellow House Plant Mushroom is inedible, so if you ingest copious amounts of this stuff, you will suffer through a poisoning of sorts. Nestled between Long & McQuade and Comedy Bar, we wonder whether Lava Video will at least help lure people into visiting its dark neighbouring bar, The Piston, which took over the Concord Cafe a few months ago.

For our readers who are interested, Lava Videos promises a free membership and competitive DVD prices. Please don't try to enter if you are under 18, and think twice if you are not immune to various fungi.

(Photos by DmD)

Get with the (Amateur) Game

Last Sunday, our Toronto Maple Leafs (no, not those ones), the intercounty baseball team, had their home opener at Dominico Field in Christie Pits. People of all ages sat hillside for the first time this season to watch a relatively exciting game against the Barrie Baycats. Relatively, of course, because we're talking about baseball. Exciting because the game was filled with highlights, and some shitty-call-drama which resulted in a long break, leading several fans to yell, "Come on! Play ball!"

Although the Baycats won 11-10, scoring the winning point in the final inning of regular play, the experience of watching the ball game in the sun, with friendly neighbourhood strangers, including couples, families, and groups of friends, stirred up a sense of pride over an otherwise unsexy park. The Blossington Post now wishes Christie Pits belonged clearly, and exclusively, to Bloorcourt.

Christie Pits was a designated dumping spot during last summer's garbage strike

As a preventative measure against people who like to enlighten us with journalistic ethics that we are already fully aware of, we would like to clearly acknowledge that Dominico Field is technically just outside of Bloorcourt, and therefore, outside of our normal reporting boundaries. Still, the Blossington Post would like to point out that municipal parks are very much like international waters...okay, well we don't actually have a real defense and cannot be bothered to find a relevant precedence.

We have a corny excuse though, which usually works well when tempering the scorn of senior citizens. Blossington residence should be in the know about free, sun-filled Sunday events in our almost-hood. If the Christie Post has something to say in retaliation to our boundary breach, we would gladly do a ten step pace followed by a turn-and-draw in the park at dusk, dawn, or some other equally dramatic time.

So come on down neighbourhood folks, buy a hot-dog, bring a beer. Just because the Maple Leafs lost the first game of the intercounty baseball season, doesn't mean it was a shameful defeat. Even if they had home field advantage, watching the Leafs' genuine hustle, including ten well earned points, was satisfying in itself.

Typical Baseball game, enjoy a closer view when in the Pits

The next home game is this Sunday, May 9th, when the Maple Leafs will face the Guelph Royals, who lost their first game of the season to the Brantford Red Sox. So head over to Dominico Field for the Maple Leaf's third game, starting at 2:00pm. Keep in mind that the transition time between innings is really long, so if you do make it in time for the top of the first, plan on staying awhile. Cheer especially loud for Toronto Maple Leaf's first baseman, number 11, Dan Gibbons. He was a major factor in turning the tide mid-game when it looked like Barrie's to-be victory would not be threatened.

If you can't make it out this week, check out this season's schedule. Sunday's home games always start at 2:00pm, and weekdays' games conveniently start after most office hours.

"What do you want? Let's play ball."


(All photos from Wikimedia Commons)

Chaos In and Around Ossington Station

 A mob of people wait for transportation

Chaos at the Ossington Subway station spilled over to the South West corner of Blossington this morning. People at the major intersection were apparently waiting for taxis, while the people flooding the station were insisting on getting onto buses. TTC bus drivers were forced to take on the burden as the transportation company tried desperately to compensate for lack of underground service. Expect TTC delays for at least another hour this morning, May 2nd. Expect, also, to be late. Everyone knows TTC buses are never as fast as our underground rockets.

Tight lipped TTC Constable only answers patrons questions regarding service

So what happened?

"It's an emergency in the subway," said the TTC Constable, who refused to give up any further details. But the Blossington Post has eyes all over the west end. Essentially, we got the bloody scoop anyway.   

At approximately 9:30am today, on the southbound platform of Bathurst Station, screams were heard, followed by a young-ish man jumping in front of the train. Blood splat onto the platform. Our witness, who wishes to remain anonymous, was gravely disturbed by the experience.

 Ossington Station at approximately 9:30am

Back at Ossington Station, people are spewing  flurries of questions directed at anyone in uniform. People are insisting for service, ignorant that while they complain about lack of service, somebody is scooping up pieces of a dead man's body off the tracks. Nobody is making clear-cut statements about when the trains will start running again. Buses have been, and continue to be, available.

(All photos by DmD)

Blossington Updates

Alexandros finally opened its doors

Remember how that Greek restaurant was taking its sweet ass time to open to the public? Well the doors finally opened last week at Alexandros Bar and Grill, who boast the World's Most Famous Gyros. The outcome of the interior revamp proves that their time was spent wisely. However, claiming to have the "World's Most Famous Gyros" is a definite stretch. Their food sucks. In fact, it is almost as bad as Astoria's food in it's final days of operations. Alexandros' interior revamp, therefore, is unlikely to pay off.

Alexandros' revamp; a dramatic change from Astoria's nasty interior

Still, we have a sneaky suspicion that the owners don't really care. Was their Blossington location (they have two others elsewhere) built merely to show financial losses? We could be wrong in thinking yes, but then again, we are usually right about these sort of things. Either way, with the big screen TV, nice new furniture, and reasonably priced beer, this will be the local World Cup fever outlet for neighbourhood boys and girls who don't want to leave the block just to join in on international football fun.

For those of you who have fallen off the Gigi wagon, you can get right back on. They may have broken their promise once, but the Prom King and Queen were at their shop this morning, brewing up a storm and serving up our much missed bites. They actually did it! Though they opened an hour later than they indicated (yesterday's sign promised 8:00am), we were just glad to have them back. Oh yeah, the place looks amazing, so it was well worth the additional day spent in waiting.

A picture of Brook's posting, look out for it, if you have info

Our favorite you're-not-from-around-here, Brook, whose Opus was stolen right in front of Discount Income Tax Services was seen back on the block this evening. We admire his persistence. The good people of our hood will hopefully keep their eyes open for his bike. His love for it has been proven. Brook's posted signs all over Blossington with pictures of his missing bike, along with a detailed description, and an offer of $200 for the brave soul to come forth and return his long lost love. He doesn't care who returns his bike, he won't ask questions, and promises to pay $200 to the person that does. If you have any information about his yellow Opus racer, please comment on this post, or look around the hood for his posting and email him directly.

"I've lost a lot of sleep, and I'll probably continue to do so," Brook said. The Blossington Post admires his love, and continues to wish him good luck on his hunt.


(All photos by DmD)

Even Cafes Suffer Without a Project Manager

Today's, Friday April 29th, sign

Our favourite neighbourhood cafe, Saving Gigi's, broke their promise. In doing that, they broke our hearts. Our morning physical mantra, getting coffee at Gigi's, was thrown off kilter on Tuesday. Blossington residents were forbidden from getting into their beloved cafe, confronted with the most unresponsive bouncer, a sign. Posted on the door, the dreaded note read that Gigi's would be closed on April 27th and 28th. It also read, "Sorry!"

To everyone's dismay, our happy, much anticipated trip for morning coffee ended today in sadness when we saw a new sign on the locked doors. This time, the note apologized first and delayed reopening second.  The pathetic part is customers couldn't even stoop for their morning brew at Gigi's adjacent competitor, Coffee Time, because they too have been "closed for renovations" for quite some time.

Thomas works away with wood on the Gigi's patio

As the saying goes, "shit happens." But Murphy's Law has forever warned us against unexpected tragedies. The truth is, the owners broke their promise because they set unrealistic goals for their vast undertaking. Looking through the window and at the patio, on the first day of closure, it seemed like a grand feat for the Prom King and Queen et al. to complete in the short time they had indicated. Let this micro-scenario be a reminder to big companies that they need to hire Project Managers.

Inside the cafe, as of Tuesday Afternoon

Even on day two of being closed, the place looked far from renovated. One would have expected to see the sign in the window earlier. Still, we have forgiven the Prom King and Queen. After all, they are not a big company, and can't afford a PM. As loyal subjects in their court, we trust that this grand undertaking is likely making our local chill spot more chill. That said, we can't help but suggest that they read Robert Munsch's classic tale as a form of playful penance.

(All photos by DmD)

Stolen Opus on Bloor

Brook begs police dispatch for at least 20 minutes

‘Tis the season for bike theft. We hate to say, “I told you so.” But, we told you so, so don’t complain. Only an alien to our neighbourhood could be exempt from Blossington torture and ridicule, punishment for not reading our last post.

Unfortunately, Bloor happened upon one such alien today. A few hours ago, Blossington witnessed a meltdown of sorts. Brook, a young man who lives at Jane and Eglinton, got his $3,000 Opus racer stolen from outside Discount Income Tax Services at 870 Bloor. 

Brook's Friend at Discount Income Tax Services

The result: panic, chaos, disorder, lots of warranted cursing and unabashed begging of a police dispatcher to “please just send them, please.” Brook was seen along Bloor frantic, stopping traffic, and asking random passerbys if they had seen his bike, and “Do you have my bike, please?” With tears flooding his eye sockets, it didn’t seem to occur to Brook that he was outside in his socks, that they were white, and that they were getting dirtier by the minute. 

Brook all over Bloor in his white socks

Brook says he was only in the tax shop for two minutes before noticing his expensive yellow bike was gone. Procrastinating on your taxes, Brook? What a waste. According to him, the rims, alone, cost $1,000.

We hate to kick a dog when it’s down but still felt compelled to press Brook on what type of lock he was using.

“No lock...” said Brook under his breath, followed by, “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

So, why did Brook choose Discount Income Tax Services when he lives at Jane and Eglinton?

“Because I know a girl that works in there....Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” Brook told Blossington Post reporter, DmD. 

He's obviously not from around here. He approached The Blossington Scum Bags, hoping for a witness. He made such a scene, that whoever was keeping his bike hostage, would not surface until way past nightfall, until way after bed.

Brook frantic, making a scene. He almost got hit by a car

Jano, a.k.a. Janush, a.k.a. the owner of Cyclemania said, “If you lost your welfare, and were acting like that, maybe I would feel sorry.” Jano was bitter because Brook had stormed into his shop, and without reason, repetitively insisted, “I want my bike, give me my bike.” Genius way to broach a subject with a group of guys who might actually help. Either way, Jano didn’t know where Brook's bike was, and now, he's far from starting to care. 

We wish Brook good luck on his hunt. Though he’ll probably forever hate Blossington, we, the people, will likewise forever wonder whether ignorance really is bliss. If you come to Bloorcourt, at least bring a lock child. 

(All photos by DmD)

Bike Theft on Bloor (and Ossington)

Dismembered bike, somebody stole the white rimmed wheels

Do you love your bike? Do you live in and around Blossington? Then remember that no lock, no matter how superior, will guarantee bike protection in this neighbourhood. Those who own the streets here are scavengers. They'll steal empty beer cans from their own clan to make a couple-a-cents. That is a fact.

Since the weather has gotten better, the Blossington Post has received numerous horror stories relating to bicycle theft in Bloorcourt. The stories vary in intensity, but when you love your bike, any degree of harm inflicted on it will leave you feeling violated. 

 Chance, minutes after discovering his bike (above) had been tampered with

Chance, aka, Chauncy, aka, Chase, aka, hot-stuff-coming-through, is a long time resident of the Blossington block. Usually, on weather permitting days, Chance rides his bicycle to work. But, it rained all day yesterday, so Chance paid for the TTC. That wouldn't be all he would have to suffer through.

He left his blue baby in its usual spot, with her white rimmed wheels, locked in front of Rui Gomes. 

Later that evening, from inside the windows of Rui Gomes, a zombie like version of Chance was seen as he crept slowly, pale faced, toward something mangled on the ground.

"My wheels. They took her wheels! They raped my baby!" he said.

One of the cute cashiers at Rui Gomes said she witnessed the entire thing. According to her, it happened around 2:00pm. The thief wasn't one of the typical Neighbourhood Scum Bags. Whoever he was though, he  had big enough balls to walk up to the bike midday with a wrench, and take apart Chance's baby – fearless of spectators and consequence.

"First he take one wheel," the Gomes cashier said, "then he go. Ten minutes later, he take another wheel, and go."

The cashier said she stood by the window watching the thief, hoping it would scare him into stopping. She didn't want to get herself or her employer in trouble so she avoided going outside to verbally threaten him.

Chance was devastated. This isn't the first time he's been the victim of bike theft. 

"It'll be fine, but my poor bike has been through enough. A crack head stole her. He sold her to me on the street for ten dollars." Chance told a Blossington Post reporter as one of his roommates tried to console him.

"Then they stole her seat. It was extra squishy. And then her broken ass seat got put back on," he continued.

"And now they took her wheels, but they cannot take my bike!" he exclaimed with war like passion.

 Chance brings the remnants of his bike into his apartment

How then can residents, like Chance, protect their bicycle on Bloor? Chance bought a top of the line bike lock, thinking it would fully insure him against theft. It wasn't enough. Some people carry around separate locks for their frames and wheels. But when there is a will on Bloor Street, there is a way. If people will break through one lock, they will break through two, and three and more.

Most people who live along Bloor live above a shop of sorts. That equals stairs, no elevator, and more stairs. True, Chance lives on the third floor of his apartment complex. But, the Blossington Post says, if you really love your bike, then prove it; lift it up those stairs, the way you would your bride. It's the only way to really safeguard your bike in this neighbourhood. 

(All photos by DmD)