Butt of Santa's Parade

Hardly X-Mas; the sign says it all

This weekend Toronto celebrated the 105th annual Santa Clause Parade. Blossington doesn’t get mentioned though we represent an essential part of the event – the ass-end. Neighbourhood kids get to see Santa immediately. There’s no tease, no tickle, no Here Comes Santa Claus because his float is already at our doorstep.

The last float waits to move on from Bloor and Ossington

The apex of an event quickly loses its appeal without the surrounding moments that create incremental anticipation. At Bloor and Ossington, the grand finale is presented right away. Without points of reference, Santa arriving (well hardly arriving since he’s already here) on his float cannot be an elevated happenstance; essentially, there’s no climax. Surely there’s a reason people tend not to watch movies backward.

Newfauch watches Santa Claus Parade on Television

Reporting live from Bloor and Ossington, we asked a neighbourhood staple, Derrick Dean, a.k.a. Newfie, a.k.a. Newfauch, a.ka. The Blossington Bully about his sentiments on the Santa Clause Parade. He said, “come inside, and let’s watch the parade on the t.v.” It would certainly give a better, more complete picture of the event than being exposed to just the tail end for hours before commencement. Still, somebody sarcastically snickered, “great thinking Newfie,” but Derrick’s wisdom was too profound for the proud commenter; he just couldn't grasp the entirty of what Newfie's insight offered.


(All photos by DmD)