Eye on Bloorcourt Business

 Tick Tock, Anybody home?

A light has been spotted through the cracks of the paper covered windows of Alexandros Bar and Grill. Does this mean we can expect a March first opening? For the past three months, the owners have allegedly been doing some serious renovations on the place, whose once really dingy interior belonged to a nasty nook called Athens’ Astoria. Hopefully, they got super cheap reno-labour and a serious transformation out of their time because, as it appears, they’ve already spent a lot of rent money before even opening their doors to the public.

Speaking of taking forever to commence operations, Shawarma Flames finally served its first customer after boasting a nice graphically designed sign, and locked doors for over two months. Blossington Post reporter, DmD, discovered Shawarma Flames’s first customer and got some feed back as to the quality of food. The proud patron was actually our neighbourhood’s sexiest and wittiest man, Ronald Baker, a.k.a. Pants, a.k.a., Ronny, a.k.a Johnson, a.k.a., Mr. Anderson, the host of The Ronald Baker Radio Revue, on CFRE 91.9fm radio. Ronny, like many people in the neighbourhood, took advantage of the Grand Opening deal, which offered any sandwich for $1.49 plus, what is still known as, GST. Ronny’s rating, was that it was okay, Blossington Post trusts his opinion 100%. When we went to check out the latest food joint in our neighbourhood the final verdict was that it was a good sandwich for $1.49 but hardly worth $4.50, the post grand opening price of the shawarma. The three day long sale has expired, so if you missed a cheap chance to taste our latest Shawarma joint out, you'll take a $3 hit trying a sandwich you'll likely never order again.

The late, though not great, Zagol space still has for lease signs

The for lease sign in, what used to be, Zagol, a fly by the night type of restaurant, based on a pipe dream to compete with one of the best Ethiopian restaurants in the entire city, Lalibela. Zagol opened a few doors down from Lalibela, and only lasted a few months before closing. Should Blossington’s neighbourhood residents express sympathy or regret toward the owners of the failed Zagol? To quote one of Blossington’s greatest captains, Ferguson, “Negative.” What kind of idiot actually thought this hood needed yet another Ethiopian restaurant, low grade Shawarma place, or old-Greek-man hang out?


(All photos by DmD)

The Blossington Olympics

(Left to Right) Sana's thumb, Jeff-co reciprocates, a thumbs up

For the past week Sana, a.k.a., Suana and Jeff-co have been screwing. They are really taking their time, making sure they do it right. Jeff-co is more experienced, so he helps Sana out, taking the lead, and showing her how the old schoolers do it. Sometimes they screw at Jeff-co's place, and sometimes they screw at Sana's (even when her roommate is watching).    

Sana apprentices under Jeff-co's germanic instruction

It's all in the name of Valentine's Day. Well, actually, what used to be known by bike couriers as the Valentine Day Massacre, an annual ice race that took place on Toronto Island. For the past several years, however, the ice race, Icycle, a.k.a. Bikes on Ice, is held at Dufferin Grove Park. This year's race will take off on Saturday February 13th between 7:00 and 10:00pm.

As our nations Olympians conglomerate today in Vancouver, so do our Blossington heroes prepare for their big race in our neighbourhood's neighbouring neighbourhood. Though we'll have to venture out of Bloorcourt to pay witness to this grand event, we know we are well represented by Sana and Jeff-co, a current bike courier and a retired one, respectively.   

Sana studs her wheel

Jeff-co pumped up and ready to win the race

"I'm super fucking stoked," says Sana, who is a virgin to the ice race.

Sana was just a toddler when Jeff-co was partaking in the two holiday themed races, the Halloween Alley Cat Scramble and the Valentine Day Massacre. For Jeff-co, who spent 10 years couriering, tomorrow's race is just a peddle in the park, but for Sana, who's been on the road for just a year, this race will be a slippery slop to circumnavigate.

Time is not on her side. With two nights to go before the meet, Sana and Jeff-co head to Christie Pitts with their freshly studded wheels and padded knees, to give shredding the ice a go. After crashing several times, and getting right back on her bike, Sana impressed the Oak Tree.

"I'm proud of her," Jeff-co says. "She asked me about technique, and I told her, 'there isn't one.' Everybody crashes. But you just get up."

Sana smiles but her eyes speak fear

The event itself is divided into four categories, women's studded, and women's rubber, tire race, and the same two tire distinguished categories for the men. Traditionally, the race was for couriers but these days anyone can test their luck.

Sana has a heavy bike to bear, she will be representing Blossington in the women's studded tire race. Jeff-co will represent Blossington in the men's studded tire race. None of them use rubbers. We are counting on our debaucherous athletes to make our block proud. And, although the official after party (open to the public) will take place at Bike Pirates, our expected victors will celebrate in true V.I.P. fashion, a private party held at Cyclemania.

Jeff-co poses for an unlikely loss

We don't think Jeff-co will lose, but as the classic saying goes, "If you're not first, you're last." That may be a lot of pressure Jeffie, but if he can't do it, the Blossington Post doesn't know who can. Either way this race is particularly fun to watch. Win, lose, crash, or burn we'll be rooting for our neighbourhood heroes and will celebrate the action, not the outcome.

As part of the Olympic Creed reads, "The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well."

(All photos by DmD)

Hurry! Employment Opportunities at CONC

 Tags and Tagger from L.O.F.T.

Blossington’s community centre, the Christie Ossington Neighbourhood Centre (CONC), is hiring. This should be received as exciting news to the unemployed young adults in our hood. For one thing, the folks who are already employed at the neighbourhood centre, like Javid Alibhai, are amazing people with good hearts working toward progressive community goals.

Below, I give all y'all prospective candidates a briefing about who and what you'd be associated with by joining the wicked team at CONC (If you are interested you should be clicking the links to get to know more about CONC. But if you didn't know that, you should probably go back to school for career planning advice).

Alibhai, is an artistic mentor for the youth who frequent L.O.F.T. (Life, Opportunities, Food, Technology), located in the basement of the CONC building. Besides visual art, LOFT is also a space that is set up for musically inclined youth. The basement space at CONC has some serious sound systems and equipment. Still, LOFT does not exclusively cater to artistically driven dudes and dudettes. There are computers with internet access for people to explore the cyber world and enhance their technological skills.

These are not L.O.F.T. tags but this man reps the hood still

There is a bunch more that goes on at CONC which is not just a space for youth. Adults drop in to get food, help in their employment search, and a sense of belonging. Our neighbourhood is great and so is our community centre, and this is an exciting way to join the team.

Below is a list of the jobs available at CONC. If you are interested, take a walk just slightly off the block to 854 Bloor Street, bring your smile and ask the people at the front desk for further details. However, if you decide that you are super stoked about CONC generally, and just want to get your foot in the door without knowing the specifics you can send your résumé and cover letter to the following address roy@conc.ca

Opportunity #1
Support Worker - application due Feb. 11. Start date ASAP. $9.50/hour

Opportunity #2
Technical Support Worker - application due ASAP. Start date ASAP. $9.50/hour.

Opportunity #3
Junior Marketing Director - application due ASAP. Start date ASAP. $9.50/hour

Opportunity #4
Junior Sales Director - application due Feb. 11. Start date ASAP. $9.50/hour

Opportunity #5
Engineer / Producer (LOFT sound studio) - applications due Feb 11. Start date ASAP. $9.50/hour

Opportunity #6
Administrative Support and Social Media Specialist - application due Feb. Start date ASAP. $9.50/hour
***This position requires a hand delivered résumé and cover letter***

(All photos by DmD)

We Can't Get Enough of Their Love Babe

 Saving Gigi sign board foreshadows today's events

All make way for the Prom King and Queen of Blossington! Kristjan, a.k.a. 7-11, a.k.a. Prom King, a.k.a the John of Christ and Amelia, a.k.a. Bedelia, a.k.a. Prom Queen, a.k.a. Amy mount their thrones today, making the Blossington block their place of residence, thus securing their binarchy* in the Bloorcourt hood. Seems like the royal pair just can’t get enough of Bloorcourt, babe. And who could blame ‘em? They are adored by their many subjects, customers and friends.

The move into the neighbourhood, as flattering as it is to staple community members, is probably more about convenience than about the royal pair wanting to be close to the subjects of their kingdom.

For the months since they captured the helm as owners of Saving Gigi, a.k.a. The Best Café in the Universe, Rex ‘n’ Regina (actually, Winnipeg) have trekked daily – usually by bike – to and from their place of residence at St. Clair and [there’s-nothing-north-of-Bloor]. This commute has taken a toll on the small business owners who work really hard, ensuring our neighbourhood continues its upward climb toward the-coolest-freakin’-hood-in-the-whole-freakin’-city status.

Amelia during Gigi's Sunday brunch

 “We’re so tired,” said Kristjan, yesterday at 7:30pm at Ronny’s place which is just across the street from the café. “We have the keys. But Amy is home packing and I want to wait for her before entering our new apartment. I am going to carry her across the threshold.”

Kristjan taking a smoke break. No rest for the wicked!

Their stress induced exhaustion will be granted some reprieve today. As I write this, Kristjan, Jeff-co, a.k.a. Ferguson, a.k.a Oak Tree, Amelia, Amelia’s sister Erin, and Erin’s boyfriend Tim, are all lending hands to the moving effort which should be completed by sunset. Erin and Erin’s boyfriend will take over their residency at St. Clair and [there’s-nothing-north-of-Bloor].

In the meantime in between time, Chelsie, a.k.a. The Next Great American Novelist in Canada has been holding down the fort all morning, serving up various coffees and teas to dedicated customers of Saving Gigi and neighbourhood passer bys who find the quaint café worth entering. Chelsie was joined by the Spanish Sandwich Maker, better known as Claudia. So things appear to be moving smoothly at the café, even in the absence of the king and queen who are busy moving their crown jewels into Blossington.

Chelsie, busy at work, still makes time to smile

You want convenience? You got it! Kristjan and Amelia have lots of pull in their kingdom. They scored the apartment exactly above their café. Still, as the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for. While the pros to this “classic system” of living are countless, there is one significantly heavy con worth noting as well.

Prom Queen and King's double-decker, multifuctional estate

“He’ll never leave the block,” says Jeff-co about his good friend Kristjan. “Well maybe, just maybe, he’ll go as far as Dovercourt. Trust me, I know.”

Jeff-co is an authority on the subject because his place of residence is also directly above his work place.

“He has everything he needs right here,” said Jeff-co, who blames his lack of venturing beyond the Blossington boundaries on his similar living arrangement.

But Amelia and Kristjan are not thinking about the negative factors involved; after all,  never having to leave our idyllic though primarily concrete block is probably a good thing. It minimizes the already minuscule microcosm of Toronto into a single city block, which is a fascinating phenomenon to live through in itself. Plus, when living the "classic system," benefits abound. Imagine never having to shit at work because you're home is two seconds away. Amazing!  Imagine waking up late for work and still making it on time. Incredible! Imagine telling your staff, midday, that you "will be gone for a few minutes," followed by, "if the ceiling lights are a shakin', please remain a' bakin'." Sensational!

With Their Majesties on site, we can all cancel cellular phone subscriptions and finally start the tin can 'n' string design of our dreams. The blueprints have been in the works for just under a year. Now is the time to put our brilliant plan into action. But until then, tonight should be about christianing (Kristjaning?) the crib. All sorts of debauchery are guaranteed to follow. Let's hope they have a doorbell. You can ring my bell, ring my bell, my bell, deen-diddling-deens.

*The coined word, binarchy, is used so as to stress the absolute duality of the Amy-Kris unit. Using "Monarchy" would not do the couple justice.Other forms of binarchy: bi-archy. Which do you prefer?

(All photos by DmD)

Goodbye Astoria Hello Alexandros

A few months ago, Astoria Athens closed its shop doors after decades of servicing Bloorcourt Village.

Astoria fell into arrears, allegedly owning $19,000 in rent. On the surface, it was a restaurant but a deeper connection with the establishment revealed that, in fact, it was a man's-club of sorts. For quite some time, patrons smoked inside (usually during card playing or backgammon) contrary to by-laws before getting busted. Keen locals knew that prostitution was an obtainable service, sort of like a VIP/members-only type luxury, unlike the smoking. 

A source told me that he and his friends were offered $10 blow-jobs from the female bartender, and that this service was not uncommon for neighbourhood friendly faces. Furthermore, strangers to the hood would not be privy to access, unless they were represented by a preferred client. 

Somebody who once slept in the basement next door to Astoria said he heard “An absolute Bordello...It sounded like they were shooting a porn in the basement at 3am. You could hear everything.

“It was crazy...you heard people fucking like rabbits...it sounded like a full blown Happy New Year party.”

Now Alexandros Bar and Grill will take its place. While outlets for indoor smoking, illegal gambling and prostitution in the area have definitely reigned supreme, many wish Alexandros will follow Saving Gigi's suit and break the mould of our BIA, sinking ship establishments. 

Blossington Reporter, DmD, has seen the owners outside of Alexandros Bar and Grill on several occasions. Although they look like  rough n' toughs, they carry a positive and friendly demeanour. We trust they will run a respectable establishment, but more than that, we hope they sell cheap and delicious food, and we really really hope they sell that cheap n' delicious food super duper late.

(All photos by DmD)

Ronny Etches Closer to the Darkside...

Ronny the Pants Baker

On this great day, Ronald Baker, a.k.a. Johnson, a.k.a. Pants, a.k.a. Ronny (local), clocks another full year of existence. The Blossington verdict? I think we're all pretty damn grateful to have this sexy specimen representing our hood.

Last night, in the hours leading up to his actual birthday, Ronny made some seriously delicious spaghetti bolognas for myself, the Blossington Prom King (though he just had the pasta, he doesn't eat meat), and Ronny's law partner, Ferguson. I have to say, that was some damn good pasta Pants.

The gathering was a meeting of minds, from which my mind was absent.

After much persistence, the Prom King had convinced us all that we have to ring in Ronny-Pants' birthday out of our apartments. We needed to have a celebratory cheers, and that couldn't possibly happen in the comfort of anybody's home, especially not on a work night. What kinda shitty friends do you think you have Baker!?

On the stroke of midnight, outside Disgraceland, three men and one lady embraced in what looked like a ball of Blossington love.

"Happy Birthday, good Sir," was one of the remarks that escaped the tightly knit love-ball.

Shortly after, we each went to our respective homes, but not before getting some Pizza flavoured Combos from the Mini Mart, of course.

*** *** ***

Today is the actual day. Several people are going to celebrate Ronny's birthday at his night time gig, The Ronald Baker Radio Revue, a radio show our neighbourhood gem hosts every Wednesday and Saturday nights on CFRE, 91.9FM. The ratings are going to be through the roof today, I'm almost sure. Anybody who is anybody in the Blossington hood is sure to be tuning in, if not participating, either remotely or actually at the statition. It is a really big deal. On tonight's show of the Ronald Baker Radio Revue, listeners will likely experience a milestone in history since Ronny's probably going to revolutionize the voice of broadcasting.

(Photo by DmD)

Cyclemania in Trouble?

Jano, the colourful captain of Cyclemania on Bloor

Everybody who is anybody in Bloorcourt knows Cyclemania is the place to get your bicycle fixed. For years Jano, a handsome 40-something ex-racer, has delivered top-notch bike service to locals and passerbys alike. He is a character of commendable kindness and a connoisseur of cycling.

Cyclemania, located at 863 Bloor Street West, is a bike shop made up of old school mechanics. The place has zero tolerance for pretension, is very welcoming, and has unbeatable prices. It's a no frills kind shop where you will get excellent work done on your bike. Yet, quality of service doesn't equate to quantity from your wallet.

But being a neighbourhood hero has it's downsides. It stirs jealousy, and becomes the focal point for alpha-male competitors. Recently, Blossington writer, DmD, confronted some sad news. Vinnie, who is the brother of the former Blossington Bully - Luigi Xaini - and who used to run a bike shop on Harbord, has laid claim to a space across the street from Cyclemania, at 800 Bloor. His intentions: to open a bike shop.

Vinnie used to pay friendly visits to the guys at Cyclemania, they fraternized about their respective businesses. But now, it seems Vinnie's visits housed malicious intent. The old saying goes, "It's not personal, it's just business." Still, there is something seriously vermicular about his actions.

Bloor West is already filled with bike shops; we don't need or even want another. Opening a shop across the street from Cyclemania is a blatant attempt to run the business, that has claimed territory to the Blossington turf for years, into the ground.

The same way Starbucks is planning to out-do our neighbourhood heroes at Saving Gigi - the prom king and queen of Blossington - Vinnie plans to do to Jano. I, for one, will not stand for it. I know the true captains of our hood won't either. You see, what Starbucks and Vinnie don't know is that people in Blourcourt are valiant, loyal, and prefer colourful hosts to pathetic party crashers.

Calling all Blossington beaus and belles, lest we forget our origins, lest we forget that we are a community that honours our founding members, please stay commited to our neighbourhood staples. Support Cyclemania and never forget the transformational power that Saving Gigi's has had on this hood.

Sincerely yours,
DmD

(Photo by DmD)